A Non-Review Of Bionic Commando: An Introspective Dissection Of Why I’m Torn In Two
Eric J | Thursday, July 2, 2009 5:54pmLet me tell you about the man I met when I was still young…
Where it all began.
I was told about Bionic Commando during a before-school latchkey session when I was in second grade. A Ginger Kid whose name I forget told me about it, and how you couldn’t jump and you had to use an arm to move across the level. He told me it was really fun, but really hard (that’s what she said). I was still trying to wrap my head around not being able to jump. I never forgot his retelling of the games’ mechanics, but I did forget the title. Some weeks – possibly months- had passed, and on some random trip to Toys R Us with my parents, I saw the video game cover pictured above and know that that was it.
Now, if you weren’t around for this phase of Toys R Us’ history, you should know how their video game aisles worked. They basically had each console on their own wall. The box art was displayed on a card that you could flip over to see the back of the box. Underneath these cards were flaps that held sheets of paper listing the title of the game, its price, and a barcode for that game. The number of sheets of paper usually indicated the number of copies that store had in at the time. Sometimes it would be off, and you’d grab a sheet to find they didn’t have any. Sometimes eager kids, such as myself, would see there weren’t any slips, but just had to know that there weren’t any more copies in, so we’d have our parents ask if it was really out of stock. To a seven year old version of myself, it was extremely important that I tell my parents loudly and excitedly that that was the game I’d been looking for (!), that it was (based off the number of sheets left) the last copy (!!), and that it was (this one was for you, mom) on sale (!!!). One – or any combination – of those three things must’ve really sunk in with them (it could have also been the sound of desperation in my voice), and for as much as I played the game that night, that summer, and the years following, I never did finish it. I loved the game sooo much that it never bothered me that I’d get to the last level, but just couldn’t get passed it. It’s still one of my top three favorite games of all time, despite this fact.
Some odd years ago, I was at my friend James’ house, and he was showing me the Lost Planet
Forgive me Brian Crecente, I stole this picture from this article.
THIS is what we were given a couple years after James’ prediction: Nathan “Rad” Spencer. In dreads. With a mechanical…sausage…arm. I can’t say I was thrilled by this image, but the notion that the swing mechanic worked kept me excited about this game.
As an entertaining source for information, I listen to a lot of industry related podcasts. A lot! And when I learned there was a Bionic Commando podcast – Top Secret (as it’s known as in Japan) anyway, I gave it a whirl. Listening to Capcom producer Ben Judd talk about his and GRIN’s (the developer of the recently released sequel) love of the original gave me the utmost faith that the project was in capable, or at least caring, hands. Any qualms I might’ve had regarding this sequel were put at ease listening to the crew talk about the development, but then(!), in early 2008, they announced Bionic Commando: ReArmed (”re-armed”, not the proctological term “rear med”) – the XBLA/PSN/Steam remake of the original NES title with co-op and a bunch of other extras. When this came out in August of last year, I was both ecstatic (because the game is fan-fucking-tastic!) and convinced that the sequel would be a quality product. Fast-forward to about a month ago, when the reviews started to trickle in on this then soon-to-be-released sequel, and much excitement and anticipation was brought to a halt. Reviews scores were mixed at best, with strong praise coming from Play Magazine (par for Dave Halverson), kind words coming from IGN’s Jeff Haynes, and a kind of gentle bashing coming from everyone else. What the crap happened?! Though personal interest had waned, I had to find out first-hand what the deal was.
Though probably not completely necessary, I feel I had to explain my love of the original and a brief and semi-personal history of the sequel’s development before I moved into what I believe to be the meat of this non-review: an examination of why I think the sequel is worthy of its title; my justifications for forgiving the frustrations that the latest Bionic Commando brings.
That crap about Toys R Us was just informative filler.
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again. At least not all back-to-back like.
before I fully appreciated each for what they are (which is great albums).
, nor as random as Without Feathers, and those are both fine things to not be when you put out an album that sounds like it’s been filtered, fermented, and aged to perfection. Destilled?
not come out in 2007 instead). Each artist has a unique style, but Cloud Cult was the first one that grabbed me right off the bat.
. Both albums are the sophomore releases for their respective bands, both are better produced, leaving behind the rough-cut sound from their previous efforts, and both took me far too long to appreciate after they came out. Luckily for Wolf Parade, it took me far less time to enjoy At Mount Zoomer than it took me to enjoy System Of A Down’s Toxicity.
around that time of my life. It would also make it harder for me to forgive “
” (easily one of the worst new songs I heard from last year). The rest of the album is terrific, and I can’t say enough good about it. And I really need to to make up for that goddamn song.
from 
. In my experience, most people think of “
” when they think LP3, but I think of either “
” or “
.”
.”
